i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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