the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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