kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
