The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
