His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
