And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
