you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
