I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
