"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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