he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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