oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
