I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
