Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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