Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize