dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
