I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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