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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"

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• (619): View more from California

  Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose

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• (607): View more from New York

  Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How's your threesome situation going?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Optimistic

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  "Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths

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• (518): View more from New York

  My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves

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