check it out our google latitudes are spooning
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize