Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
