I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You were trust falling into bushes
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
