ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
