I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
