We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
