he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
