Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
