Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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