Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
