the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
