Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
