he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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