I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
