Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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