8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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