hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
