And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
