Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
