I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
