Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
