I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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