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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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