So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
