Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
