Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
