Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
