did you get engaged???
The maid of honor just puked.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
