well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
