Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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