Heybabeimwearingurpanties
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i now understand why vodka
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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