Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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