Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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