I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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