whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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