He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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