Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
