Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
