What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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