their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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