Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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