I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
